I really want to answer all the questions from my previous post, and I will eventually, but I'm still chewing on several of them. So, here are the answers that I don't think will change in the next 24 hours.
1. Widow-maker: Since my first two showers in Guatemala were icy cold because this shower contraption didn't work, the desire for warm-enough-to-get-my-whole-body-wet water outweighed the risk of electrocution. I think. One way or another, I'm clean and safe.
2. Good morning songs: I'm questioning my teammates' response to this question because although they gave me heck about being jolly en la mañana they kept asking me for a song. I like the ones with verses.
3. Gigante: No more spottings of our gecko friend. Or any other critter to make my roomies squirm. I think I miss the shriek I heard at that first sighting. But not my daughter's anxiety at falling asleep without knowing for sure Gigante had returned to his outdoor world.
4. Drunk guys with machetes: Just one. Thank goodness for Daniel, a missionary from Alabama who works at Sarita's feeding center. I think he could have picked the guy up with two fingers. He did confiscate the machete. The man was not escorted off the school grounds. Nope. Sarita brought him a bowl of black bean soup and tortillas. I'm still praying for him.
5. Sleep-talking: Um, apparently.
6. Simple ingredients: We had three meals at two different feeding centers. Two at Sarita's (a beautiful woman who has also started a school at the feeding center) and one at La Democracia. Seems to me they all had about the same ingredients. But the taste was incredible. The beans were sorted by hand (enough for 150 servings) and the vegetables diced with precision. Tortillas made fresh every day. Chicken butchered on the grounds and cooked within hours. Freshness certainly plays a role. No short cuts (i.e. microwaves) either. But here's why I think the meals served to the children and us are so delicious: these women prepare this food as if they are serving Christ Himself. And Sarita believes that if you can fill the stomach you can fill the mind, and if you can fill the mind then you can fill the soul.
7. Pickups: Always one more. I really tried to get a picture, but the pickups with at least 20 people ranging in age from infant to 70 with a few animals thrown in for good measure were always going too fast for me to snap a pic.
8. Prayer for me: Think I need to preface this one a little. On our first day we attended a worship service that reminded me so much of Morning Star it wasn't even funny: set up and tear down, parking attendants, drums, guitars and singers, even recognized a couple of the songs in Spanish, and a seriously challenging message (at least what I could understand of the translator, anyway). Worship in foreign cultures is always intriguing to me. Pastor Keith was asked to preach, and can I just say that I'm so glad he's my pastor? He doesn't shy away or back down, and when the pastor of this open-air church (who believes they will reach 12,000 people for Christ in the next four years. Yes, twelve thousand!) asked us to come forward so we could pray together, Keith was in his element. As we stood together with these 50 or so people, the pastor asked for prayers that his people would learn English easily as it opens up doors of opportunity that his people need. As we stood praying together - the United Statesians in silent prayer and the Guatemalans in passionate audible prayer - I was convicted by the fact that I was standing in their country, surrounded by their people, immersed in their culture, and I was praying for them to learn my language??? Even though it's what they want, it felt so arrogant to me. I have been so disappointed in myself for not having put forth more effort to communicate effectively in Spanish. Every year I say I'm going to be fluent before I go back again. And every year I feel ashamed that I have not succeeded. So as I began to pray for forgiveness and ask God to help me be disciplined enough (and humble enough) to learn the language of those I love, I felt a hand on my forehead. As I opened my eyes Pastor Keith looked me straight in the eyes and said, "And help us to learn this language easily - you know I'm praying for YOU, sister." Okay, in all honesty, that was really weird. But the moment of discomfort was replaced with anticipation as I considered that God would actually answer that prayer. So, while I don't think He will give me some miraculous fluency (although I would gladly accept it), I can say that I was definitely more comfortable this week as I tried to communicate in my broken Spanish - not necessarily better, but certainly not as scared. Can't wait to see how this prayer unfolds.
I feel a bit like I'm just relaying details and not getting my heart out here yet. Bear with me. It's bubbling up from deep within, and I know God has been challenging me to analyze a lot of my deep set and longstanding opinions. It'll take me a while to unpack those. Pictures will be coming soon, too.
*Some answers
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Veinte Preguntas*
1. How safe is it to use a shower that is heated by an exposed electrical current that has earned the nickname “widow-maker?”
2. Is it really odd that I like to sing Good Morning songs before I’ve had coffee?
3. Will Gigante the Gecko visit us again tonight?
4. How many drunk guys with machetes does it take to freak Brenda out?
5. When Emilee talks in her sleep, do I talk back to her in my sleep?
6. How can such simple ingredients make such delicious food?
7. How many Guatemalans can you fit in the back of a pickup?
8. Even though it was kinda weird and strangely liberating and I’m filled with expectation, will God really answer the prayer that Keith prayed over me to learn Spanish easily?
9. Would I really sell everything I have if God told me to, or is that merely a nice thought because I don’t think He’ll ever ask that of me (and if He did, my husband would flip out anyway)?
10. Do I have enough faith to believe that God will answer the prayer that I prayed over a desperate mother for health and protection for her family and for their physical needs to be met?
11. What can we do that will truly benefit the people we are here to serve and can it really make an impact and improve their quality of life?
12. What is my responsibility in all this?
13. Is this really about changing the situation for the poor, or should it be about changing the attitude of the rich?
14. Is it okay to serve people with the expectation that I will benefit even though I know that’s not the right attitude?
15. “Can an accident of latitude and longitude really be the difference between life and death?” – Bono
16. Why does God allow people to live in these conditions and allow us to live in our conditions?
17. What is God trying to teach me this week?
18. How unnerving is it to have a police escort through Guatemala City?
19. What would God’s perfect will look like on this Guatemalan hillside?
20. Since every person (pastors, Sarita, and several precious children) who has prayed for us has asked God to meet our needs, I'm struck with the question: What are my needs?
*Twenty Questions
2. Is it really odd that I like to sing Good Morning songs before I’ve had coffee?
3. Will Gigante the Gecko visit us again tonight?
4. How many drunk guys with machetes does it take to freak Brenda out?
5. When Emilee talks in her sleep, do I talk back to her in my sleep?
6. How can such simple ingredients make such delicious food?
7. How many Guatemalans can you fit in the back of a pickup?
8. Even though it was kinda weird and strangely liberating and I’m filled with expectation, will God really answer the prayer that Keith prayed over me to learn Spanish easily?
9. Would I really sell everything I have if God told me to, or is that merely a nice thought because I don’t think He’ll ever ask that of me (and if He did, my husband would flip out anyway)?
10. Do I have enough faith to believe that God will answer the prayer that I prayed over a desperate mother for health and protection for her family and for their physical needs to be met?
11. What can we do that will truly benefit the people we are here to serve and can it really make an impact and improve their quality of life?
12. What is my responsibility in all this?
13. Is this really about changing the situation for the poor, or should it be about changing the attitude of the rich?
14. Is it okay to serve people with the expectation that I will benefit even though I know that’s not the right attitude?
15. “Can an accident of latitude and longitude really be the difference between life and death?” – Bono
16. Why does God allow people to live in these conditions and allow us to live in our conditions?
17. What is God trying to teach me this week?
18. How unnerving is it to have a police escort through Guatemala City?
19. What would God’s perfect will look like on this Guatemalan hillside?
20. Since every person (pastors, Sarita, and several precious children) who has prayed for us has asked God to meet our needs, I'm struck with the question: What are my needs?
*Twenty Questions
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Bail, Jesus! Bail!
I can't imagine how tired he was. Jesus was just wiped out. Super long day. Super long week. So he calls all the guys together to take a cruise. They climb in and Jesus heads down to let the lap of the water on the boat lull him to sleep. That's one of my favorite places to nap: out on a boat in the middle of the lake. Ahh...
Now, I've taught this story of Jesus calming the storm to 2 year olds for the last 10 years. It goes something like this:
Jesus and his friends got in their boats. (Pretend to climb in a boat.)
Jesus went to sleep. (Hands to cheek.)
And a storm came and the rain came down. (Pat legs like rain. Wave arms like wind.)
And the thunder crashed. (Clap hands really big.)
And the boat rocked. (Sway side to side.)
And the disciples were scared. (Show me a scared face!)
And Jesus was sleeping. (Hands to cheek.)
"Wake up! Wake up! Help us!"
And Jesus just stood up and told the storm to stop. Say it with me, "Stop, storm. Be still."
Cute. The kids get into it. It's one of my favorites to do with them. Except I've been teaching it WRONG for 10 years.
I reread this story not too long ago and, um, the disciples weren't scared until after Jesus calmed the storm. That's a seemingly small detail, but it brought up a huge question for me.
What were the disciples expecting Jesus to do when they woke him?
These guys are fisherman. They had been in storms before. They knew what needed to be done. Now, I'm not a sailor, but I did go white water rafting once. Our guide told us the most important thing we needed to know was "BAIL!" When he said "bail" we were to grab our bucket and start bailing the water out of the raft as fast as we could. I think that's what the disciples expected Jesus to do. "Get up, dude. Grab a bucket and bail!"
But instead of following their plan and meeting their low expectations, he did something that they couldn't have known was even possible to ask for. They couldn't have fathomed his response. Just tell the storm to stop. Peace. Be still. And it scared the tar out of them.
How often do I do that? I ask Jesus for help and I know exactly how I'd like him to help. I don't usually give him a laundry list, but I often ask for him to intervene in a friend's life in a specific way or ask for discernment on a decision I need to make with options A and B. I'm limited in what I think the options are. And when He answers in a way I couldn't imagine, I'm shocked and in awe. I commented to one of my Honduran friends that I don't know why I'm always so surprised when God answers my prayers. His repsonse: You're not surprised He answers, you're suprised at the way he answers.
So I think I gotta stop asking Jesus to bail.
Now, I've taught this story of Jesus calming the storm to 2 year olds for the last 10 years. It goes something like this:
Jesus and his friends got in their boats. (Pretend to climb in a boat.)
Jesus went to sleep. (Hands to cheek.)
And a storm came and the rain came down. (Pat legs like rain. Wave arms like wind.)
And the thunder crashed. (Clap hands really big.)
And the boat rocked. (Sway side to side.)
And the disciples were scared. (Show me a scared face!)
And Jesus was sleeping. (Hands to cheek.)
"Wake up! Wake up! Help us!"
And Jesus just stood up and told the storm to stop. Say it with me, "Stop, storm. Be still."
Cute. The kids get into it. It's one of my favorites to do with them. Except I've been teaching it WRONG for 10 years.
I reread this story not too long ago and, um, the disciples weren't scared until after Jesus calmed the storm. That's a seemingly small detail, but it brought up a huge question for me.
What were the disciples expecting Jesus to do when they woke him?
These guys are fisherman. They had been in storms before. They knew what needed to be done. Now, I'm not a sailor, but I did go white water rafting once. Our guide told us the most important thing we needed to know was "BAIL!" When he said "bail" we were to grab our bucket and start bailing the water out of the raft as fast as we could. I think that's what the disciples expected Jesus to do. "Get up, dude. Grab a bucket and bail!"
But instead of following their plan and meeting their low expectations, he did something that they couldn't have known was even possible to ask for. They couldn't have fathomed his response. Just tell the storm to stop. Peace. Be still. And it scared the tar out of them.
How often do I do that? I ask Jesus for help and I know exactly how I'd like him to help. I don't usually give him a laundry list, but I often ask for him to intervene in a friend's life in a specific way or ask for discernment on a decision I need to make with options A and B. I'm limited in what I think the options are. And when He answers in a way I couldn't imagine, I'm shocked and in awe. I commented to one of my Honduran friends that I don't know why I'm always so surprised when God answers my prayers. His repsonse: You're not surprised He answers, you're suprised at the way he answers.
So I think I gotta stop asking Jesus to bail.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
God Is Not My Girlfriend
Majesty. Glory. Words that really aren't used outside of religious circles except to talk about the Queen of England, purple mountains or sing Bruce Springsteen lyrics. And Christians use them in such nonchalant ways that they have not only lost their meaning, but they make those outside the Christian bubble think, "There they go again with their Christianese."
Unfortunately, the words have lost their luster for me, too. I don't necessarily use them that often, but I sing them in every other song that runs through my head. I think I know the crux of the problem.
I have forgotten that God is really big. Not the Veggie Tales version of God is Bigger than the Boogie Man. I mean really, really BIG. Have you seen Planet Earth??? The ecosystems in this world are magnificently complex. Absolutely incredible. As phenomenal as our earth is, it's just earth. It's just one little speck in this massive universe.
Consider that in our little corner of the galaxy there are an estimated 100,000 sun-like stars, each with the potential of having an earth-size planet. But in the whole Milky Way galaxy? Try 100 billion stars. One Hundred Billion. In one medium sized galaxy. Psalm 33:6 says that God is a star-breather. Just whoosh...have a galaxy. (And scientists at NASA are surprised by how one of the galaxies that "should" be a baby is way older. Hmm, maybe God breathed right there in that out-of-place spot in the universe.) And we can't even estimate how many galaxies there are. As much as I love to read about new discoveries and think it's amazing what science is revealing, we just can't possibly know, much less understand, the complexities of this universe. And I wouldn't put it past God that this is just one universe of many.
And yet He knows my name. There are nearly 7 billion of us right now. And He knows each of our names. That just blows me away. What a majestic, glorious God!
Truly majestic. Astoundingly glorious. Meticulously personal.
Somehow I've dumbed Him down to being my bestie. My bff. My chum. My let's-do-lunch-and-hang-out-a-while girlfriend. There is a delicate balance in understanding His holiness, majesty and glory and having an intimate, real friendship with Him. And right now I need to recognize that God is not my girlfriend.
Note 1: You thought this was gonna be racy, didn't ya?
Note 2: I only used NASA research here because even though History Channel has a great series on the Universe, couldn't find any verification of the numbers they were throwing out - 6 billion solar systems in 125 billion galaxies. Appears History Channel has more info than NASA. Makes me question the validity of the series.
Note 3: Oh, and I'm still considering whether or not I think Jesus is my boyfriend.
Unfortunately, the words have lost their luster for me, too. I don't necessarily use them that often, but I sing them in every other song that runs through my head. I think I know the crux of the problem.
I have forgotten that God is really big. Not the Veggie Tales version of God is Bigger than the Boogie Man. I mean really, really BIG. Have you seen Planet Earth??? The ecosystems in this world are magnificently complex. Absolutely incredible. As phenomenal as our earth is, it's just earth. It's just one little speck in this massive universe.
Consider that in our little corner of the galaxy there are an estimated 100,000 sun-like stars, each with the potential of having an earth-size planet. But in the whole Milky Way galaxy? Try 100 billion stars. One Hundred Billion. In one medium sized galaxy. Psalm 33:6 says that God is a star-breather. Just whoosh...have a galaxy. (And scientists at NASA are surprised by how one of the galaxies that "should" be a baby is way older. Hmm, maybe God breathed right there in that out-of-place spot in the universe.) And we can't even estimate how many galaxies there are. As much as I love to read about new discoveries and think it's amazing what science is revealing, we just can't possibly know, much less understand, the complexities of this universe. And I wouldn't put it past God that this is just one universe of many.
And yet He knows my name. There are nearly 7 billion of us right now. And He knows each of our names. That just blows me away. What a majestic, glorious God!
Truly majestic. Astoundingly glorious. Meticulously personal.
Somehow I've dumbed Him down to being my bestie. My bff. My chum. My let's-do-lunch-and-hang-out-a-while girlfriend. There is a delicate balance in understanding His holiness, majesty and glory and having an intimate, real friendship with Him. And right now I need to recognize that God is not my girlfriend.
Note 1: You thought this was gonna be racy, didn't ya?
Note 2: I only used NASA research here because even though History Channel has a great series on the Universe, couldn't find any verification of the numbers they were throwing out - 6 billion solar systems in 125 billion galaxies. Appears History Channel has more info than NASA. Makes me question the validity of the series.
Note 3: Oh, and I'm still considering whether or not I think Jesus is my boyfriend.
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