Thankful Fors

This came as a challenge from a friend to write out 20 things I'm thankful for.

1. My kids' giggles. And their belly laughs.
2. Music that reaches my soul and brings about change in my life.
3. That my son's "worst day ever" was because he didn't get his math homework done and actually had to stay in from recess.
4. My front porch rocking chairs.
5. Chocolate covered strawberries (and in a pinch, strawberries and chocolate ice cream).
6. Memories of sitting on my daddy's lap watching football on a black and white TV. And that I get to continue that tradition with my kiddos (except instead of a black and white, we have no Tivo and no HD).
7. Country music.
8. The most amazing friends that have seen me at my worst (like with Jr. High hair and everything!), loved me through my insecurities and fears, and challenged me to get over myself. And they still like me. I really can't believe I have so many kindred spirits.
9. Morning Star Church for the balance they have provided for me in nurturing and ministering to me and challenging me to reach out beyond myself and serve others. I seriously cannot imagine who I would be today if we had not said yes to Morning Star 11 years ago. (Yep. In the fall of '98 we sat in Mike and Dede's living room and said, "We're in!" What an awesome ride it has been and will be!)
10. The privilege of experiencing life enter this world and leave it - the most spiritual moments of my life.
11. Planned Parenthood commercials for Plan B that open up great conversation with my daughter. Who knew? Glad I went there - even with the boys in the car.
12. Generations of a Christian heritage that has shaped who I am and who my children will be.
13. Photography that captures raw beauty and reality.
14. My Jesus. And for the growing awareness that He really is my Jesus.
15. Books, books and more books.
16. My experiences on mission trips because even though it sounds self-serving, they absolutely have shaped my view of the world, God, and myself since 8th grade. And the struggle that I go through processing all that I see. It's worth it. It's even worth it that I have more questions than answers.
17. A fire crackling in the fireplace and the perfect roasted marshmallow. (I'm really really good at them. I'm out for hire. You can pay me with chocolate and graham crackers.)
18. Facebook. How corny is that? But seriously, I have reconnected with friends that are in the pit of hell and reaching out to me. And friends that I never should have lost touch with. Just the other night I chatted for 2 hours with my reconnected best friend. I snorted. I cried. And I am planning a trip to the East Coast to hug her neck.
19. For my husband who puts up with my peppiness, and my crabbiness. No wonder he's so even keel.
20. Our home. I still feel guilty for having it because our old one was "too small." But it's beautiful and homey and warm. And I can keep the people I love comfortable and safe in it. Too many mommas don't have that opportunity.

Honduras Bound!

My hope is to be able to update my blog while we're in Honduras with videos and interviews. Um...I kinda need to figure out how to get videos on here, so you get to see my amateur videography efforts. Sorry. It's actually from last year when we asked the kiddos at Morning Star to donate vitamins.

My Malaria Story

Remembering 9/11

Here's what I wrote in my scrapbook shortly after Sept. 11, 2001

Tuesday morning, Sept. 11, 2001, I turned on the Today Show on NBC to catch the 8a.m. news. At 8:04 they broke to show a plane that had crashed into one of the World Trade Center towers. As I watched, a second plane crashed into Tower Two. Immediately the announcers speculated terrorism. This was no accident. These are the details in the order I remember:
*One of the planes was reportedly hijacked.
*Up to 50,000 people work in the two towers.
*Tower Two tumbles to the ground about 45 minutes after the crash.
*Minutes later Tower One collapses.
*People are frantically running; many had jumped from the buildings.
*A plane crashes into one of the wings of the Pentagon.
*Planes were commercial flights with people on them - no numbers yet.
*Took Emilee to preschool at 9:30. I told her lots of people got hurt today when the planes crashed into buildings. She asked, "Why can't God make the planes not crash into the buildings?" I just explained that people make their own choices and when they don't know God or don't listen to Him, they make very bad choices. She immediately replied, "Like Jonah. He didn't listen to God and got thrown 'over-the-board' and a big fish ate him up."
*A fourth hijacked plane crashes in Pennsylvania headed for Camp David.
*Hundreds injured and at NYC hospitals.
*President Bush leaves Florida for Washington, but Air Force One goes to Louisiana where Bush makes a video-taped statement.
*Bush in Nebraska in bunker and conferences with Colin Powell in South America and Condelisa Rise in the White House.
*All four planes confirmed hijacked.
*Hospitals concerned that they're not busy enough - too many presumed dead.
*Osama bin Laden prime suspect.
*People walking miles to get home - all mass transit shut down - tunnels, bridges closed.
*Shoe store owner starts handing out shoes to many who discarded their dress shoes either in the stairs of the Trade Center or on the street.
*As many as 200 firefighters and 68 policemen missing and feared dead.
*First "missing" number at around 1,500. Family members searching for their missing loved ones, holding pictures asking if anyone has seen them.
*Thick ash and debris including papers cover streets, cars, buildings and people up to 3 inches deep.
*White House and Capital Hill officials taken to "secure locations;" some moved more than once.
*I have to do something to feel like I'm protecting my family so I head to the grocery store and stock up for the week.
*I feel absolute insecurity and vulnerability.
*Everywhere people seem to be very solemn - even the stores broadcast the news.
*America is on alert.
*Airlines across the nation are shut down; many stranded in airports until further notice.
*Numbers rise; missing are into the thousands now, but fewer than one hundred are confirmed dead.
*Operation Noble Eagle, Operation Infinite Justice - Bush quickly alerts all military and begins positioning for a strike back.
*On Thursday, Sept. 13, Bush addresses both Houses of Government as well as the world in an historical speech: "those who are responsible and those who harbor them..." "either you are with us or you are against us..." "We will not falter, we will not tire, we will not fail!"
*Tony Blair, British Prime Minister, sits in seat of honor beside First Lady Laura Bush.
*Friday, Sept. 14 a "day of Prayer and Rememberance" honors all the dead and missing and their families.
*Bush participates at the National Cathedral singing hymns, praying, and speaking; he has tears in his eyes.
*Days go by and presumed dead at WTC, Pentagon and on planes soars to about 5,000.
*Football, baseball, golf scheduled events are cancelled.
*Many give blood as a way to do something. I gave on Wed., Sept. 12 at the St. Charles County Community College. I arrived at 10:20a.m. and was #537.
*Airlines begin again by the weekend, but limited flights.
*America strikes back on Sunday, Sept. 23 as US and British planes bombed key Taliban terroist training camps after wiping out their air power (airports, military targets, etc.)
*Most Arab countries protest; feel it's "harsh."
*Bin Laden has videotaped message with more threats but obviously recorded before strikes.
*America is confident.

Um...clarifications?

1. A whole Gospel approach to meeting the needs of "the least" includes salvation through Jesus Christ. I'm often tempted to blur the lines of holy calling and social action. Non-Christians can do social action, and do it quite well. But we are also called to "go" and "make disciples." Yes, it's one complete command given by Christ, but we often do one or the other. We're either really good at going and don't really make disciples. Or we're good at making disciples within our walls without going out. It's just gotta be both.
2. Speaking of "both" - huddling is not wrong. As a matter of fact, it would be terribly wrong to not huddle. I can't imagine how my spiritual growing curve would ever increase if I didn't have corporate worship with my local church family. That 2 hours on Sunday morning is my sustaining safety net that is absolutely necessary. The Bible is clear on that, and my experience proves to me that truth. My encounters with God in the midst of corporate worship have driven me to my knees (like in front of people. That's just weird, so you know it's a God-moment). Our service can't take the place of corporate worship, and our corporate worship can't be our only act of service. Both/and. Never instead.
3. So, Pastor Harvey moves his congregation out to the streets "instead" of Sunday worship, right? Not necessarily. He moves Sunday corporate worship out to the streets. In the crack house cases, they are just holding their worship service in a different location. In the Bible delivery cases, sounds like they gather for worship and then march out the doors as a way of giving the congregation a hands-on teachable moment. And the women meeting with prostitutes is the overflow of that understanding throughout the week. Perhaps in other churches, corporate worship will never look any different as far as time or location - the doors will never close on Sunday morning - but the teaching will be so compelling that every attendee actually plays the game all week long. Sometimes we need to head to the locker room. Sometimes we need some more training. Sometimes we huddle on the sidelines. But most of the time we huddle in the midst of the game. Both/and. Never instead.
   
4. I love analogies and sometimes carry them too far. Pastor Mike has warned me of this tendency of mine. Ahem.
5. Jesus really is the answer for the world today.
6. I think my clarifications will need clarification.
   

Train. Huddle. Play.

Warning: This post is raw and unedited. Translation: It's likely incoherent, uppity and offensive. And probably incomplete at best and flat out wrong at worst.

I'm processing the Leadership Summit from today and honestly, I'm not sure why I'm even at a "leadership" conference. I'm not a leader of a team, I don't have the role of leader in the church as most of the other folks attending do, and I've never even been in the business world. (Maybe that's why The Office isn't funny to me either.) This is not my first time at the Willow Creek Association's LS, but I pretty much came this year for two reasons: 1) My husband signed me up. 2) Bono is speaking tomorrow.

Apparently, God has some reasons for me to be here. For four years now I've been on a journey to be in the center of God's will for my life. Ever since I had malaria during pregnancy I have been struck with an insatiable desire to understand and change poverty at its root. While I hate trite answers that have little effect on people and generally make us cringe at their staleness, the answer I keep coming back to is: Jesus. Period. I can hear the song now, "Jesus is the answer / for the world today / above Him there's no other / Jesus is the way." It makes me cringe. How dare I look into the eyes of a starving child or a homeless man and say, "You need Jesus." But as I analyze that insensitive answer and break it down into all the things that are needed to alleviate the suffering that I see under my nose and across the oceans, I spiral to a deeper level of understanding that brings me face to face with the truth: Jesus is the answer.

But perhaps it's a broader sense that I've never considered before. While Jesus is the answer for hopelessness and poverty, it doesn't necessarily come from us bringing Him to "the least of these." It comes from us recognizing that He is "the least of these." So I can't walk up to someone with the "You need Jesus" proclamation. I have to see that I need Jesus. I need to know Him fully. I need to embrace the whole Gospel! I need to serve Him with the depth of passionate love that I have for Him. That's how Jesus is the answer. Me knowing Him and serving Him.

When I read Matt. 25 I'm struck by the fact that Jesus says when we meet the needs of the least we are doing it to Him. Not in His name. Not for Him. To Him. The Greek word is eis and indicates that the point is reached or entered with intent and purpose. That's wow to me. Perhaps because I've gotten just enough of a taste of Him, reached Him just enough, that I can't satiate the desire to know Him more - to enter into Him with intention and purpose.

So what's this have to do with the leadership summit? Well, right off the bat Bill Hybels challenges leaders to "advocate for the powerless and hold the powerful accountable." Gary Hamel, ranked #1 as "The World's Most Influential Business Thinker" in 2008 by The Wall Street Journal, questioned, "Are you more committed to redemption and renewal or to practices and programs?" A lesson on the prodigal son in which Tim Keller pointed out that the elder brother was as lost as the younger brother, and only one of them came in to the feast. Being lost isn't just about wrong-doing, it's also right-doing for the wrong reasons.

But Harvey Carey hit the homerun for me with this word-picture: You've purchased the best seats at your favorite game. Cost you a fortune. Crowd's excited; everybody's on their feet. The place is electrifying. The team comes out and gets everybody even more excited. Then they huddle up. Whoo-hoo! Five minutes pass. They're still huddled up. Thirty minutes pass. Still huddled. After an hour they finally break! Game time, right? They run right back off the field. That's what churches have done. We huddle up on Sunday morning and then run back off the field. It's time to get in the game! Go play! God has paid too high a price for us to just huddle up! We have to take ownership of the Word and quit letting ourselves off the hook! Sunday is the day to play the game! With one paid staff member, this church has taken a Bible to every home in their zip code. Suburban women show up in the middle of the night to walk with prostitutes and give them hope. They have shut down 8 (EIGHT!) crack houses by showing up on Sundays (when the rest of the Christians are huddled up and the people who need Jesus are on the streets) and holding church right in front of them! Ain't nobody gonna be walking in there to buy drugs!

Stop with the excuses. Believe the Gospel. Play. The. Game.

I've been trained for living the Gospel my whole life. I've been huddling for years. And now I'm trying to play the game. I think I've been running the sidelines and stepping inbounds every now and then. I'm still trying to figure out what it looks like for me. It's not Detroit. It's not Pastor Harvey's church. I have a mission right here in St. Charles County. Parts of it I know. Pieces are coming together. But I gotta play. And not just on Sundays.

Conversation with a Three Year Old (3yo)

Seriously. I wrote this down as soon as we had this conversation.

3yo: White is supposed to be lightning. What is supposed to be green?
Mom: Watermelon
3yo: Why?
Mom: So you can eat it. (???)
3yo: Like you eat minutes?
Mom: Yes. Like you eat minutes.

You can check out my conversation with a two year old and see how we've changed in a year.